Drive, Determination, Desire, Depth and Drive. These are either the 5 rules of dodge ball or the key things I am lacking this new year. I haven't read a book in a couple years yet I still buy books and sit them on the shelf with all the rest of the prisoners. I haven't seriously drawn something in several years. I still subscribe to Juxtapoz and I am always reading comics and creeping on Deviantart.com. Is this what becoming an adult is all about? Losing all desire to do, shit, anything? The one thing I no longer have issues with is getting out of bed to go to work in the morning. Well, most of the time it isn't even a thought. How did I lose all my inspiration and dreams?
This is it. This is the product of all the thoughts in my mind and the acute percentage of them escaping and being posted on this page. It's like a 1 to 8,000,000,000 ratio so it's a big deal, kinda like a baby being born.
Friday, January 23, 2015
it's all a mystery to me
Inevitable? Maybe. Possible? Most definitely. Probable? Sure. I was that kid in the back of the class room that wasn't talking to any of the other children during playtime. I was the kid in the corner of the room talking to myself. It wasn't that I didn't like my classmates. I enjoyed talking to them, and as long as there was no drama I also liked playing with them as well. However, what I enjoyed most was watching them do their thing. Being the observer has been my role in life since as long as I have had memories.
I recall events from my childhood that are similar to what people describe as a photographic memory. I would never claim to have a photographic memory, not at all, more like an Etch-A-Sketch memory. Why I remember every single detail of completely forgettable events, I have no idea. I knew I would never forget the day the Challenger exploded in the air or the two times I saw UFOs over my head or when I attempted to run away from home at 10 years old. Every person has these unforgettable moments many times in life.
Being chosen as the lion in a preschool game of "Circus", the lion tamers facial expressions, the movement of her honey-blond hair as she whips it around to command each lion, the pure power hungry look in her eyes, the way her entire persona changed when she became the leader; these are the things that are burned into my minds eye. From that moment on I knew who this girl would turn out to be as an adult.
I recall events from my childhood that are similar to what people describe as a photographic memory. I would never claim to have a photographic memory, not at all, more like an Etch-A-Sketch memory. Why I remember every single detail of completely forgettable events, I have no idea. I knew I would never forget the day the Challenger exploded in the air or the two times I saw UFOs over my head or when I attempted to run away from home at 10 years old. Every person has these unforgettable moments many times in life.
Being chosen as the lion in a preschool game of "Circus", the lion tamers facial expressions, the movement of her honey-blond hair as she whips it around to command each lion, the pure power hungry look in her eyes, the way her entire persona changed when she became the leader; these are the things that are burned into my minds eye. From that moment on I knew who this girl would turn out to be as an adult.
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