Drive, Determination, Desire, Depth and Drive. These are either the 5 rules of dodge ball or the key things I am lacking this new year. I haven't read a book in a couple years yet I still buy books and sit them on the shelf with all the rest of the prisoners. I haven't seriously drawn something in several years. I still subscribe to Juxtapoz and I am always reading comics and creeping on Deviantart.com. Is this what becoming an adult is all about? Losing all desire to do, shit, anything? The one thing I no longer have issues with is getting out of bed to go to work in the morning. Well, most of the time it isn't even a thought. How did I lose all my inspiration and dreams?
Friday, January 23, 2015
it's all a mystery to me
Inevitable? Maybe. Possible? Most definitely. Probable? Sure. I was that kid in the back of the class room that wasn't talking to any of the other children during playtime. I was the kid in the corner of the room talking to myself. It wasn't that I didn't like my classmates. I enjoyed talking to them, and as long as there was no drama I also liked playing with them as well. However, what I enjoyed most was watching them do their thing. Being the observer has been my role in life since as long as I have had memories.
I recall events from my childhood that are similar to what people describe as a photographic memory. I would never claim to have a photographic memory, not at all, more like an Etch-A-Sketch memory. Why I remember every single detail of completely forgettable events, I have no idea. I knew I would never forget the day the Challenger exploded in the air or the two times I saw UFOs over my head or when I attempted to run away from home at 10 years old. Every person has these unforgettable moments many times in life.
Being chosen as the lion in a preschool game of "Circus", the lion tamers facial expressions, the movement of her honey-blond hair as she whips it around to command each lion, the pure power hungry look in her eyes, the way her entire persona changed when she became the leader; these are the things that are burned into my minds eye. From that moment on I knew who this girl would turn out to be as an adult.
I recall events from my childhood that are similar to what people describe as a photographic memory. I would never claim to have a photographic memory, not at all, more like an Etch-A-Sketch memory. Why I remember every single detail of completely forgettable events, I have no idea. I knew I would never forget the day the Challenger exploded in the air or the two times I saw UFOs over my head or when I attempted to run away from home at 10 years old. Every person has these unforgettable moments many times in life.
Being chosen as the lion in a preschool game of "Circus", the lion tamers facial expressions, the movement of her honey-blond hair as she whips it around to command each lion, the pure power hungry look in her eyes, the way her entire persona changed when she became the leader; these are the things that are burned into my minds eye. From that moment on I knew who this girl would turn out to be as an adult.
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