I haven't written in years. Literally. I think my last post is dated two thousand and nine. Today it's two thousand and thirteen and has been for, give or take, one hundred and sixty days. I'm not counting, I promise. It's just that it is almost the middle of the year and that means, for me at least, that I get to find (read: search for) some perpective in numbers. Solace in what can be seen and understood. Some comfort in the known universe. I am about to be thirty six years old. In thirty five years, I feel like I have learned about twelve years worth of knowledge. I have been married one time in my life. I have had one child. I have fallen in love, the real adult version, one time. I have found a life worth living less than once. I am the parent of two cats and the foster parent of one. I have zero ambition. I have only one chance to make something of myself. Arrested Development was funny in two thousand and six. I have zero real-life friends. I leave the house to do something other that run errands two times a year. Other than wasting away on a smart phone or in front of a giant television screen, I am active in zero things. I can find ninety nine reasons to not get out of bed in less than three seconds. I take one hundred and fifty milligrams of medication one time a day to keep me from ending one life. I stopped reading roughly four years ago. I recently read one book from cover to cover and it was simply okay. I take fifty milligrams of medication two times a day to prevent me from ending five hundred and sixty six other lives. I spend about three hours a day trying to formulate a plan that will allow me to happy and make a living at the exact same time. I think about the theory of relativity about eight times a month. I scare myself to death around three times a year. I scare others to death around one time a year. Feeling like I have nowhere to turn for inspiration is the one thing I can't get over. This did not inspire me to write. My therapist says it will help. I will continue the process. Until next time.