They see your every move

"Congratulations. You just testified in court against the biggest crime family in all of Texas. Now, to keep your ass from being dead, the FBI is putting you and your family in the Witness Protection Program. Write about the first day of your new life as Chris Farmington in Poughkeepsie, NY."


Hi there. My name is Chris. I guess you can tell by my accent that I am not from around here huh? Well I just moved here from Georgia. I had been living there for a few years after leaving the Peace Corps due to an injury. Oh this? It's nothing really. Just a scratch. Well, now it is. It used to be a lot worse. While we were protesting whale poachers in the Pacific, I fell overboard and a narwhal’s sharp helical tusk slide up my leg a few feet. You wouldn't think that your leg could split wide open like a cooked sausage, right? But it can. Very easily. So that was the end of my Peace Corps ride. I started eating fish again after that.

I wouldn't say I have a career path. I'm kind of a jack of all trades. I have been in the workforce since before I was legally able to be there. I have tried almost everything and liked almost none of it. My grandfather always told me as a child, "If you ain't happy at your job, quit it. There's a lot more of 'em out there for you to be unhappy at". Maybe it's my destiny to walk out of every job I start. I think one day, when I am old and gray, I will sit down somewhere and just forget to leave. That will be my career I guess.

Yeah, I am married. Don't wear a ring though. When your hands swell up two sizes bigger than they should be because you're stuck in the freezing bones ocean water for nearly 2 hours, well, wearing something that can cut off your finger seems kind of silly. I like to think that my commitment isn't something I have to show off to everyone. The wife doesn't mind either. She says women are more likely to hit on me with a ring on my finger rather than off it. Crazy huh? No, we don't have any kids. We both decided this world was not a place to be raising children. I can't say I agree with her, but I do enjoy the freedom most of the time.

We are living off of her dead father’s life insurance. Funny to think I used to hate those trust fund kids; growing up a poor one myself. She keeps herself busy otherwise we fight. That woman's mind is like a finely tuned engine: lots of parts moving and moving. Fast. If one of them slows down or starts working out of order the whole system crashes. Fast. I don't know what she is doing today. Could be at an art show or at an oil painting class. Could be skeet shooting for all I know. I like to live my own life and let her live hers. When we get home at night, we live our lives together. I think it keeps things fresh. Well, some people might disagree but it works for us fairly well.

I have traveled a bit in my time, yes. Texas? No. Haven't been there yet. I hear the old Alamo is haunted though. I would love to check that out some day. Closest I ever made it to Texas was New Orleans. Went there to visit an old girlfriend a long time ago. We didn't end up seeing each other on that trip but I still want to go back there some day. To smell the air in the French Quarter, not to see Her. Am I hungry? Sure am. No, I could eat anything right now. After spending 6 days lost in the desert with nothing for nourishment, besides fingernails and pepper spray, a person doesn't find too many things unappealing enough to not shove down their throat.

You know, I never thought I was allergic to pineapples but my throat is cinched up like a Bangkok hooker. Getting a killer headache too. You feel bad yourself? No? I remember contracting malaria once but this is much worse. Shit! I think somebody needs to call the doctor. My heart is beating right out of my chest! Hey! What are you doing with that camera? You think this is funny? Call the damned paramedics! Where are you going? Come back here and help me out. Help me!